I have not written a blog post in a long time. I would like to offer an explanation of sorts. I am treading water in my personal life, and the blog has fallen to the bottom of the priority list.   Rest assured dear friends, my fitness is still a priority.  The ladies group is going strong and growing in numbers, and my obsession with health, fitness, and now Crossfit is alive and well.

I know it is crazy.  This obsession that I have with all things Crossfit.  Truly it is in my head at the MOST inappropriate times (I won’t elaborate, but trust me on this).  It is in my head all of the time.   I have been a member of a Crossfit box for just over a year now.   During that time, my body has performed athletic feats that I never dreamed possible.

This qualifies as a “before” shot. I actually got bigger than this before I hit bottom.

Striving to be healthy in mind, body, and spirit

For a former fat girl who just 5 years ago weighed in at 217 and 49 percent body fat, the things that I am doing with my body are no less than miraculous.   Pullups.  Strict freaking pullups.  Kipping pullups, Toes to Bar, Knees to Elbow.  Okay, I am no master of these skills, but I can do them.  This to me is miraculous.  There is something so special about the Crossfit community and friendly competition that thrives there.  I am inspired all the time to push harder, run faster, and lift heavier.

Today is the day that Crossfit Headquarters will announce the first of 5 workouts that constitute the Crossfit Open. (If there is a snowball’s chance in um, you know where, that you don’t know about the Open, It is the first in a step of competitions that lead to the Crossfit Games)  The Open is really cool because a  little “Ms. Nobody” like me can compete against absolutely everyone.  There are no other sports that I know of where an absolute neophyte is allowed to compete against the elites.   Let me clarify here, I have absolutely no chance of winning.  Never in a million years, it just is not in the cards for me.  That being said, there is this little spark of a childhood fantasy that lives in the dark recesses of my mind.   In my fantasy, I will compete and emerge from the shadows a victor.  I will surpass everyone’s expectations of me.  I will prove my doubters wrong, even if the biggest detractor is me.   That for me, sums up the magic of the Crossfit Open.   I am as excited as anybody to watch the workouts as they are revealed.  I will grunt and push and pull alongside everyone else at my box trying to get through the workouts, but this year I will not compete.

So, why not me.  Why not compete this year? Truth? My desire to compete has been eclipsed by too much going on in my life.

1.  We were burned out in the WA wildfires last year, and are in the process of building a new home.

2. I am a full time caregiver for an aging relative who is currently in hospice care and needs 24/7 monitoring.

3. My dog (yes, really) has gone blind and lost the use of her hind legs this past year.   This means incontinence and diapers and using a wheelchair for her.  Very high maintenance and difficult to leave her alone.

I am a big proponent of the philosophy that you will make time for the things that are important to you.  If it is not important, you will make excuses.    The truth is, if I wanted to compete in the Open badly enough, I would find a way. At this point, still being fairly new to the sport (yes it is a sport), and with so many distractions stealing my focus, I am choosing to wait.

With all the facebook and pinterest “fitspo” telling me that I suck if I choose to make my life outside of the gym a priority, that is precisely what I am going to do.  You know what?  It is okay.  It is my life, my choice.  If I am lucky, the Crossfit Open will be waiting for me next year.  That little spark of fantasy is not dead within me.  It lives and burns brightly encouraging me to keep on keeping on.

But, at 5pm tonight, along with all of my crazy Crossfitting compatriots, I will be glued to the net, watching the announcement of the first workout in the 2015 Open.