The week before Christmas was an absolute food hell for me. There were several times that I had to ponder just how many burpees would I need to suffer through in order to burn off the dozen Christmas cookies that I inhaled before breakfast? 

I applaud those individuals who can maintain a healthy relationship with sugar. I am NOT one of them. 

So, as perpetual dieters and fitness addicts are wont to do, I vowed, after Christmas,  no more sugar. I packed that shit up, carted it over the mountains and sent it home with my kids. You might think that would be enough to rid me of this blight on my health, and for the most part, it was helpful. But, and it’s a really big but,  even though I tried to be thorough with my sugar purge, dark temptations linger in the corners of my cupboards and pantry. 

So, while I am definitely coming out of the holiday sugar coma, I have had a few slip ups.  Why did I have to keep those chocolate dipped marshmallows and pretzels?   I worked so hard to make them.  I couldn’t possibly just toss them in the rubbish bin, or could I? 

Slip ups aside, I am easing away from poor choices, and making a concerted effort to eat whole healthy foods. 

I really do love my new gym, and I have been spending a fair amount of time working it,  which goes a long way towards boosting my mood and ramping up my fitness level. Unfortunately,  you cannot out train a bad diet. 

I originally started this blog, because as a trained fitness professional who had struggled and overcome the battle of the bulge, I thought perhaps my experience could be helpful to others who also struggle.   Right now, I feel like I am the one struggling who needs help. This is raw. This is real. No facade, no persona, just a flawed human trying to be better. 

I have a lot of knowledge,  and yet I have no answers. The one thing I do know for certain,  I am building a fire of desire. Just for today, I will exercise, I will try to eat whole healthy foods, I will use food to fuel my body, and I will try to NOT use food as a drug.